Face #26

8X10"
Pastel on sandpaper

This was a very productive weekend as far as this project is concerned--two faces! If I can keep going at this pace, I may actually finish this project.

I was participating in a studio tour this weekend, and I got to talking with one of the other artists. He knows that I've been into drawing a lot lately, and he asked if I do anything with pastel pencils. I haven't done anything with them in awhile, and he was telling me about a special pastel paper that has a surface similar to sandpaper. I thought that I had some of this paper at the house, but I can't remember where I put it. I searched in some of the usual places but had no luck. Instead, I found some actual sandpaper with a very fine grit. I was curious to see how it acted, and that's how this face was created.

Face #25

8X10"
Pen & Ink

Well, I finally reached a milestone in this project after two years...I'm one-quarter of the way done! Of course, it doesn't help move the project along when I decide to try stippling. For those who may be unfamiliar with that term, stippling involves making thousands of tiny dots with a pen in order to create the picture. I like the effect of it, but it does take a lot of time.

I think there were two things that helped me get this face finished: 1) Lots of coffee (I had at least twice my normal amount), and 2) a studio tour that required me to be in my studio for at least 12 hours over a weekend. I met some wonderful people and got to talk with some of the other artists who have studios in the same building. If it were up to me and money were no object, I'd spend every day over there in my studio. It's a wonderfully creative place, and I always manage to get something done when I'm there.

Floating

"Floating"
8X10"
Colored pencil

I have been reluctant to post anything new, because so many people have responded to my previous post. I am grateful for all the support I've received from friends, family, and other artists. It means so much more to me than I could ever put into words.

Although this drawing may seem like someone drowning, it is not. There have been times when I thought that I would drown in my grief. I am amazed at how much I miss my husband after knowing him for so short a time. But God has been so gracious and good to me. I have spent much time in prayer and worship during the last few months, and He has given me such an amazing sense of peace. It is so amazing, in fact, that it is beyond comprehension. During one of the times of prayer, I had this vision of floating on a river. It was so peaceful and relaxing that I just wanted to stay there and never leave. That's where this drawing comes from.

You may be reading this and reading my previous post and wonder, "How can you worship God and have such a sense of peace at a time like this?" The only thing I can tell you is this: I believe in a God that holds the entire course of human history in the palm of His hand. Being outside of time, He knows every beginning and every end. He alone knows the why's and wherefore's of my husband's passing. I trust that He has a greater purpose to accomplish, a purpose that I may not understand for many years to come, if ever. And that's okay. He gives me peace and grace to make it through each day, and for these gifts I am truly grateful.

Face #24

Wow. I believe it's been over a year since I posted to this blog. I think it's about time to get back to this project...

Several reasons for the hiatus: 1) I decided to do some art that had nothing to do with faces, 2) I was suddenly promoted from a 29-hour work week to a 40-hour one, and 3) I had to deal with the sudden death of my husband. I'm not giving these as excuses. Well, alright, maybe I am. Life happens, and now I'm taking a second,...no, make that a third look at this project.

I am grateful to the Wetcanvas.com community for getting my butt back into gear. There is a group of artists over there who hold "Weekend Drawing Events" (WDE, for short). Someone posts about a dozen different images each Friday, and then everyone goes to town. You select an image that interests you, and after about 2 hours of creating you stop and post your progress. Sometimes there's a specific challenge that goes along with the images, but lately my challenge has been simply to sit down and take the time to do it. The"unique" proportions of this image are proof enough that I need to get back to drawing on a regular basis.

The image I posted here is from a WDE that took place a couple of weeks ago. I decided to draw this particular image using a mechanical pencil after I watched a demonstration by a very talented local artist. She does very detailed and precise drawings with mechanical pencils. It was not something I would normally use for a drawing, but I was very pleasantly surprised by it. I will probably use it more often in the future. Sometimes the simplest media are the best.

Broken

"Broken"
5 1/4X8 1/4"
Pen and ink

I haven't posted for a long time, because I had a very tragic event happen. My husband died. In fact, he died very suddenly and unexpectedly the day after I drew this picture. I had no idea of what was coming at the moment I was drawing. I was simply messing around with an earlier idea I had for a painting.

Now this picture has come to symbolize how I'm feeling. I am trying to hold myself together, but I am in pieces. Nothing feels right. I could fall apart at any moment...and I frequently do. The nights are the hardest. We were married for three years and ten months, but in that whole time, we were never apart except for work and times when he went to run errands by himself. There is a part of me missing that I cannot retrieve. I am in pain, but there is no medication to ease it or make it go away. The world goes on as if nothing has happened, and I am shattered.

Me and My Shadow

Shadow Self
6.5X9"
Watercolor

I caught a glimpse of my shadow one day. I had just taken a shower and my hair was hanging down in an interesting way and my big fat nose was sticking out. I'm not sure why I found the shape of the shadow so interesting, but I made a quick sketch and then decided to paint it.

I had originally planned to make a series of progressively darker shadows against my face in profile. But then I decided that it might be more interesting to come face to face with my shadow. The sketch just looked like somebody staring off into space, and it bugged me a little bit. I found that this was a good exercise, trying to duplicate the shapes of the right-hand face in reverse.

I guess you could call this a kind of self-portrait, although I wasn't trying for a photo realistic depiction of my own face. The blue eyes and the curly, light brown hair are definitely my signature features. As for staring at my own shadow, I have to admit that I do contemplate the darker side of my being from time to time. We all have a darker side, one that we usually try to hide away from the rest of the world--secrets and thoughts that we wouldn't want anyone else to know about. I like to think about this darker side of myself as a reminder that I'm not as good as I'd like to think I am....or as good as I'd like other people to think that I am. Keeps me from getting too full of myself.

Back to Work--Part 2

"Meditation"
8X10"
Colored pencil

Here's another project that has been sitting around waiting for me to finish my novel. I've been working on it for quite awhile. It was inspired by a very relaxed and peaceful period in my life that happened around the middle of September. I have worked on it during lunch breaks at work, at home during quiet mornings, and at a local park when the weather was especially nice. I can't really say right now if I ever intend to finish it. It not only gives me a sense of peace to look at it, but it also is very relaxing to work on. I decided to post it here, in case anyone else could benefit from the same sense of peace that I get when I look at it. With the busy holiday season upon us, it's always a good idea to take a moment to just breathe and relax.